12 May 2012

the art of fingering



Fingering is a technique which can be learned by all. It is easy to learn when given the right attention. But fingering needs time. The time and patience to learn what makes us tick. Because even though we have the same 'buttons' to push, many women push them differently. 












Defenition 




Wikipedia gives the following defintion of fingering:

..."Fingering is the manual (genital) manipulation of the clitorisvulvavagina, or anus for the purpose of sexual arousal and sexual stimulation. It may constitute the entire sexual encounter or it may be part of mutual masturbation (sex), foreplay or other sexual activities. To "finger oneself" is to masturbate in this manner. It is analogous to a handjob, the manual stimulation of the penis. These activities provide sexual pleasure, whether or not used as non-penetrative or penetrative intercourse."...

This is a very good defintion on the what, but not on the how.

The how to do fingering of the vulva is very short description and in my opinion very inadequate:

..."Massage of the vulva, and in particular the clitoris, is the most common way for a woman to reach and achieve an orgasm. The clitoral body or shaft may be massaged, usually through the skin of the clitoral hood, using up-and-down, side-to-side, or circular motions. The labia and the rest of the genitals are also stimulated by massage and fingering."...


Ah! There we go a 'clean' explanation, but is it that simple? I have learned that some women do not know how to have an orgasm and act to have one as they are ashamed they can't. Some women will at first only have an orgasm by using the showerhead, or a vibrator. A lot of vibrators are not strong enough for an orgasm. Some like to hump a pillow and other like to be filled in their Vagina and/or anus. Just try and find out, do not be scared, love your vagina and vulva look at it, feel it and enjoy it. look at pictures so you will see their is a huge variety and use your erotic intsrument!!!








skills


On the internet some manuals are found on how to play with the female genitals to direct them towards an orgasms I found some under the header: fingering. One of the biggest thing i am missing in the manuals is that they never ask the girl how she masturbates? What does she do to get an orgasm? 
How does she moves her fingers? 
In what order does she play with her self? 
What does make her wet and ready?


Of course in the process there should be an intuitive side, considering on how she reacts with every move you make is a good indicator of how things can be done for her.
Let's look at what in general is advised to do. And for me I would start with washing hands, and cleaning and cutting fingernails.






A mens point of view


This is the most general knowledge shared on the internet for men:


Step 1 – Use your palm to massage her mound. To start with, let her ride your palms gently.

Step 2 – Put little lubricant in your fingertip and trace the outer of your girl’s vagina to determine how wet she is. Touch her clitoris and the opening gently. At first, you should start very slow, and then gradually move sideways or up and down.

Step 3 – This is the key part of how to finger a girl. After getting excited, gently put your finger into her vagina. Deeply insert the finger, and if you know her G spot, use a smooth or regular circular motion to rub. Then, you should introduce the finger intercourse, with your finger moving in and out of the vagina, while massaging her clitoris with the thumb of the same hand.

Step 4 – The pleasure derived from the experience will make her breathing to change, and you will feel the muscles of her vagina flexing against the movements of your hand. Pushing your fingers against her thrusts will help in building her orgasm, and you should use the same rhythm to continue to stimulate her. The rhythm is key when learning how to finger a girl because you want to give her the orgasm, and even if she begins to groan or moan and scream, you should not stop the rhythmic stimulation.

There are many techniques on how to finger a girl, but these steps should help your girl enjoy the act. You should also be aware that every woman love to be stimulated, the way your finger caresses her wet pussy would make a difference in the way your woman responds.

These are some other useful tips on how to finger a girl:

In order not to hurt your girl, make sure your nails are cut and are not sharp.
Some girls do not like to be fingered. Therefore, if your girl is new with you, you should ask her first. If you do not know how to ask, you may insert the tip of your finger into her vagina, and watch her reaction. That is going to tell you whether or not to proceed.






A womens point of view


Sure this all will work, nevertheless if a girl is experienced she knows her body and how to finger herself. If she doesn't know the following tips aren't bad at all actually I would say they would be very useful for a man to read as well!


The most important thing is that she is relaxed, feels safe and secure. I guess that is also very valuable for starting out as a couple.




Allocate some time – at least an hour, twice a week – when you know you'll have the house to yourself and can guarantee being undisturbed. (Arranging this can be the hardest part of the exercise!)


Take a leisurely bath, using your favourite bath oil. Relax. Enjoy soaping your whole body. Give your breasts and your genitals plenty of attention.

Dry yourself with love and care and continue to explore your body as you do so.

Move to the bedroom. Make sure it's warm and that it looks nice and is a pleasant place to be. Put some favourite music on if you'd like. Lie on the bed and carry on touching yourself, anyhow and any place that you like. All sorts of parts of your body might give you pleasant feelings. Find them! Give them attention. Be aware of pleasure.

Rub baby oil into your breasts and into your neck and throat. Enjoy the feeling.

Gradually, allow your hands to travel lower in your body. Caress your abdomen, and then use some more baby oil and touch yourself between your legs. There's no wrong or right way of doing this. Just let your instinct take over.

Slip your fingers into your vagina. Try tightening your muscles round your fingers. Then relax. Try gently stretching the vaginal opening – this is something that gives exquisite pleasure to many women.

Start circling the area where your clitoris is. Don't hurry this. As you become more focused on your genitals, you may well find that you start applying more and more pressure to your clitoris, and that your breathing is quickening, and – best of all – that you're really enjoying yourself.

Don't worry if you don't get any further than this on the first few occasions. So long as you feel that you are loving your body and appreciating it and experiencing some good sensations, then that's fine.
Don't forget that the most powerful part of a woman's arousal equipment is in her mind. So, it can be helpful to introduce some mental stimulation into the exercise. Try thinking of things that turn you on. Or, while you're stimulating yourself, read from one of those erotic novels written for women. You might even like to try caressing yourself while viewing a sexy DVD – if you have a DVD player in your bedroom or somewhere else in the house where you can feel uninhibited and comfortable. One of Betty Dodson’s famous DVDs, on assisting women to reach orgasm through masturbation, may help.

You may like to use a vibrator because many women find this increases their arousal quite magically. If you don't know where to get good books, videos or sex aids, see the further information section.
Each time you start caressing your body, try to keep going for longer and to increase your delight in what you're finding out about yourself. Don't panic if you still sometimes have feelings that what you're doing is wrong. Just breathe deeply and tell yourself that it's every woman's right to love and enjoy her own body – and that masturbation is healthy and good and normal.

One day you'll find that your caresses become more insistent and you're breathing heavier and you feel a desperate urge to carry on what you're doing. It's common to feel a bit frightened at the intensity of what's happening, if you've never felt it before. But go with the feelings. You deserve to have them. If rubbing your clitoris alone doesn't quite get you to your climax, try putting one or two fingers of your other hand into your vagina. Or use a vibrator in your vagina or on your clitoris. Your instinct should take over and tell you what to do.

Hopefully, these powerful feelings will lead to your first orgasm. And once you've had one – you'll find you can have others – maybe even on the same day!

Many women like to practise having orgasms a few times on their own before involving a partner. But once you do choose to try with the person you care for, make sure you incorporate what you've been doing into your love play. Show your partner what you like, and let him or her help you to experience this great joy.

If you follow this plan, without putting pressure on yourself to succeed, you'll become more sexually aware – and it shouldn't be too long before you join the ranks of the orgasmic. Good Luck.






Anyway just laugh relax and do not make a big issue about it.  If he cannot finger you properly it is fun and very exciting to do it yourself as ordered in front of him. And perhaps the two of you will find a way that he can even make this wonderful countdown towards an ordered orgasm. Aren't we women lucky to have such a wonderful tool to play with!


But, I can do a quicky easily if I have a mind for it not that it will be an earthquake of an orgasm but just good enough. The earthquake will only come when I have the time and the proper mindset. The best earthquake and the multiple ones are when He is there!



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