29 Aug 2012

Greedy smile



You saw me and took me with You
under a vault of branches with leaves
grabbed my neck and quickly kissed
and whispered: 'Follow me in Your car.'
I did, while You speeded down the highway
meandering through the traffic like a boat,
lifeboat, I felt my heart beat in my throat.
I felt how I had to do all to focus
to keep track with You, with the road
the other cars, traffic lights
red, orange, green, red again and again
I was so happy and horny.
How I wanted you, it seemed forever
Until I parked and closed the car
stumbling after You
to much luggage in my arms
dropping it there on the pavement,
feeling deliberately clumsy
You finally took my bag.
We almost ran to the elevator
where You pulled me in Your arms
I sought Your hardness teasingly
We ran out at the right floor
and playfully I took my jacket of,
threw it over Your shoulder.
My shirt was next and than my bra
And I laughed there in corridor.
I saw Your greedy smile.
I loved Your greedy smile.
Opening the door to the room,
the smiles stayed, it stayed,
when You ordered me
to lay over Your knee
and You spanked me
rhythmically, like a drum.
And only after, when the pain still
lingered on, You kissed me and
with a smile You said:
'Happy Birthday!'
I only heard in a haze.

27 Aug 2012

Hold me




There is no where
No why
No reason
Just what I am
Naked
Laughing
In tears
Sensitive
Taken
On a nightly journey
My nipples 
Hardened
Pained
Clamped
Your cunt
Your body
Lost in a dance
Of pain
And kisses
Gentle kisses
On my skin
Until I fly
In Your arms
You hold me
Tenderly
Hold on to me
Nested
Until
I turn
and return
In
You

26 Aug 2012

bewaar me




er is geen waar
geen waarom
er is geen reden
slechts wat ik ben
naakt
lachend
in tranen
gevoelig
meegenomen
op een nachtelijk reis
mijn tepels
gehard
gepijnigd
ingeklemd
Uw kut
Uw lijf
verloren in een dans
van pijn
en kussen
zachte kussen
op mijn huid
tot ik wegvlieg
in Uw armen
U me teder
bewaart
U bewaart me
genesteld
en weer
wederkeer
in
U


Subspace Blues




I’m driving home with subspace blues.
Feeling abandoned but I have nothing to loose.
I would return if  I could choose.
To taste even more of your lovely juice.

I push down the throttle and keep going forth.
You will stay in Your South, I go up my North.
The burning heat still in my hearth.
Which keeps on binding like a girth.

Dear Meester I am telling the truth:
I am suffering the subspace blues,
subspace blues......

24 Aug 2012

surrender



I don't have to speak
You know what I want.

This is all I'll give to you
it should be quite enough.

I beg for wings to fly
and fly at Your command.

All that I expect of You
is anything gentle and rough.

22 Aug 2012

dreams



We dream the things we are afraid of.
We dream the things we secretly want.
The best we can is dream together,
together in a sensual haunt.

We dream the dreams as they are needed.
And sharing dreams is even better.
By doing that they might come true.
I will give you a bracelet as a fetter.

It is neither precious or of value,
but shows the beauty of the one within.
Everyone deserves a dream
it is just the search how to begin.

20 Aug 2012

olivetree



I learned I am not the jealous kind.
I love deeply and full heartedly.
When I trust, I trust fully.
When I give, I give fully.
When I submit, I give it all.
When I am tired, I get somber.
I learned I am not the jealous kind.
I just want all to be happy,
in whatever form or way.
But most of all;
When You are happy I thrive.
When You control me I strive.
When You are near I revive.
With You I have arrived.

19 Aug 2012

owner




I watch intrigued
her beauty
hot and sissling
curvy and sensual
daring and strong
provocative
all watch
all see
and only one
one
the one
owns her
which one?

10 Aug 2012

travel



I will travel
with you
knowing
You are there
and whenever
Your clit
plays up
suddenly
unexpectedly
a thought
feeling
nipples stiffening
or before I go
to sleep
and dream
of being ordered
and
when I
masturbate
I will hear
counting
because it is
my private time
with You
as Your slut
and property.


anything





I have those days
that longing turns 
into begging
pleading

I am on a wire
so strained
tensed up
cramped

The need overwhelming
to anything You wish
anything You need
and want

9 Aug 2012

polyamore and jealousy



Anna  wrote some lovely posts about jealousy: anna's blog Read them all they are interesting!


Jealousy can creep in like an infected wound. If you do not adress your jealousy, look at it you will start to nurture it, in the end it will become worse and worse. Jealousy can be about so many things. But usually it is when you feel the other might be better off than you are.  Sometimes there is an underlaying gut feeling in jealousy.

We can be jealous when we think others look better, do better or simply are better. But should we?
We can be jealous of simply the posessions of wordly goods and thinking someone else is far more fortunate. Do we need to be?
We can be jealous of the intimacy between people.
There are so many things we can be jealous of.

But should we really be jealous? Or should we let others enjoy it without feeling left out. There is a world of difference in being honest about feeling left out or letting others in? Ofcourse at times we all feel envious or jealous but sometimes we just not deduct why we feel that way.

Mostly with jealousy we expect in the modern 'ordinary' society that people stay monogamous. But how do we deal with Jealousy within poly?

When I met p I saw this beautiful lovely creature I really wanted to get to know. And when Master told me she had asked to be with us I was honoured and happy. But I wasn't only honoured and happy. At times I could get insecure, it felt as if He was with her constantly and I had swallow my pride there, knowing it was necessary for their bond. I had to find out where it came from and I simply told Him. The strangest thing was that I could accept it afterwards, because I didn't expect Him to change or to shift His attention towards me. The best thing was that He kept on saying how much He loved me and I simply knew that was true.
The other thing is that I can accept p for what she is. I learned that is an open, sweet and loving girl. And my envy and jealousy disappeared. I feel the full security with Master and with her.

I feel a good balance in all and it makes that I can deal with whatever happens.
Is it all this simple?

No if we read the above well, it has taken the part of p to fully acknowledge the love there is between me and Master. She was anxious that she would come in between us. But she isn't. Meester is clear. p is clear, I am clear.

Are we never jealous or envious? I am. I am jealous often. But what I have noticed is that I get passed it. I have given myself the skils to overcome when I become envious or jealous. But working on it teaches me a lot. But what I have learned in this short period that I think I can overcome anything if I set my mind to it?

What is jealousy?

Jealousy is about the anxiety of loosing someone, jealousy can be due to low selfesteem. Thinking the other is better than you. Mostly that happens within a relationship: Being afraid to loose or feeling the other, new one might be better than you. What happens is that you feel mostly fear, and fear can even express in anger.

Being or showing to be angry is closing of and becoming defensive you put your guard up. High walls to protect yourself. Protect of what? In most cases it doesn't protect you. You think you protect yourself but you are not.

That anger part is the worst one to deal with. When you start to draw conclusions without knowing what is going on. When you start to fill in what might happen and mostly negativily. When you feel really low it is hard to look at yourself truthfull. I have learned from p that being open helps. If you can do that without anger and show your vulnerable side you have won the most. Being vulnerable is being strong. Being vulnerable is not asking for pity but is asking for solutions.

All these above feelings are in my opinion natural. We all feel jealousy and/or envy at times. So to me it is not the jealousy that is a problem. The problem is the choices you have before you and accepting them. And it can take time to accept.

So poly is not about being WITHOUT JEALOUSY. Poly is being about how to get past jealousy.





How to get past jealousy?

Actually this is the best site I found so far!   9 ways to overcome jealousy

Jealousy is destructive but can be very constructive if you deal with it.




5 Aug 2012

Gedachte




Geplaagd door de gedachte
van een hand opmijn borst,
de ander tussen mijn benen.
'Ben je nat mijn slaaf?'
Ik weet dat ik
nat ben, kletsnat!
Bij de gedachte alleen al.




4 Aug 2012

Just for You

Just haunted with the thought
of a hand on my breast,
the other between my legs.
‘Are You wet, my slave?’
Knowing I am
wet, so wet!
The thought alone...