I feel like being in a dinghy surrounded by an Ocean. It is not like you abandoned ship and just embark on another one and live happily ever after. It is hard to deal with all at the moment. I feel deep sadness, anger, resentment, grief and so much more all jumbled up into a hard nausiating ball in me. I wake up with it, do my chores with it and try to sleep without it, which is hard.
I should be happy now shouldn't I?
A longterm relationship is dealing with life: dirty socks, food on the table, work to do, kids around the house, and in between there might be some time left. I have hardly any time to grieve. I have to put all my energy into this new path. But I have no energy. It's life staring me in the face and I am clueless.
So I better get my act together. Little steps they say. Two steps forward, one step back and never give up!