Lately I feel naked. I have no protection other than myself and a few good friends who have shown their worth. I am dealing with me. Sure it looks fine perhaps on the outside, but I feel raw, broken. Break the submissive they say, a Dominant can whistle and I will fall apart.
I have cared for many and in the end, even with my best efforts, I didn't care for me. So I need a Dominant and I came to the conclusion I have never ever really, deeply thought about what I want and need. I pound on the ones I mentor: "Do not go into D/s lightly! Know what kind of Dominant you want and need, research, negotiate and only when you know he feels right continue."
So hereby my declaration of self, of me personally the raw and naked me: "I am ashamed to say I am the worst example ever." It is even worse than what I just wrote. I have no clue how to negotiate for myself simply because I have no clue! I am eager to please and afraid to displease, so to overcome this I will go and research the how to... Simply because I need to.