10 Oct 2013
Something is happening deep in side of me, far bigger, far more amazing than I would ever expect!
When I started to follow my dream and step (a bit) into the world of BDSM, I also started to finally understand me. Over the last 2 years I came to the conclusion that writing about BDSM is nice, it teaches me and it taught me a lot, but not only that. It put me on a path of personal growth, it showed me also a way to fullfill the potential within me. I am becoming stronger and stronger. I am not sure I can put my finger on the why and how. But I will try to explain some.
I have always wanted to push myself forward, but I believed I wasn't really someone to be pushed. Now I know I was really doing all that, I was already learning all the time. With all the confusion I felt at times I am starting to understand that all along I had a goal but I simply didn't see it myself. Deep within me I never felt worthy enough. But I am the only one who can claim that worth truly. Of course I cannot claim I know all, but I have been walking my path for years and as it narrowed, the horizon broadened. Simply because the narrow path made me focused. I think BDSM, just opened me up, it made me stronger. It made me stronger not because I know how to put defenses up, it is because I took them down. Do I want to advocate BDSM? No! This is simply my road.
What is my road, my narrow path? It is quite simple. It consists in seeking all the tools available to grow, to give myself every chance to grow. It is also the reason I started to go beyond the discussions about BDSM. BDSM helped me, but ultimately You have to help Your Self. A Master can push, but he can push forever if you do not want to move forward. But that is the same for the one that is Dominating. I have been growing with a bunch of great people at a wonderful sim in SL, called Austin. Is it all without drama? Of course not, we need a bit of drama to grow, to be pushed. To realize a lot of people invest in you. I invest in people because I love them. I deeply care for them. Some will not understand or see it, as I at times didn't see it.
But all of those that pushed me forward, that helped me on my path, mentors, friends, really all of you. I have learned to love you, I have learned to trust you. So keep on lovingly pushing please! And I will push a little back because I love you and trust you.