5 Feb 2014

subdrop: the emotional drop

There it is, you feel moody, depressed, low. You have no idea what to do and you think the world around you is falling apart. You are the worst submissive that walks around this earth and all you want is to be with your dominant.
If you feel some of these or all of these it is most likely you have a severe case of subdrop. This post is for those who scene online, for example in Second Life, or perhaps with other means. However it also comes in handy if you have a long distance relationship and you have met and had an intense weekend or something simular.

It takes a first time for everyone so you might be very low as stated in the above. You feel like not accomplishing anything at all and often nothing comes out of your hands. You have become almost lethargic. So why do you feel so low?

If you have an online lasting relationship it is far easier to feel subdrop. Online play can be very intense and uring those intense play and moments you go through emotions, feelings and a lot of bodily experiences. Even though good aftercare helps, be aware that having that one special Master or Dominant is also part of the problem. Whenever that relationship is intens and deep the more intens the sub drop will be.

1. have a talk about subdrop

Just request a good talk about subdrop, a dominant should be open and listening. Subdrop is not always stopped with good aftercare. Some thing that when they have good aftercare all is done. Even though good aftercare can prevent subdrop it is not always the case. And subdrop does not always happen after a scene. It can also happen after some time without feeling the care or dominance. Or perhaps you haven't been able to see each other for a while. Just talk about it in general, just put it on the map, be aware it exists.

2. set up a system with your dominant

Talk about subdrop. Talking is very important so you can think both on how to get you back on your feet again. To find that emotional resilience when you are feeling low. Each and everyone needs different things. But the general idea is to establish some kind of procedure that works for you and also for him.
Think of a text, or a letter of some memories you write down. Have a few things that connect him positively to you with warm feelings without him there. And spoil yourself rotten. do a few thngs that really makes you comfortable. Go and see a feel good movie. Do what you need to nurture and comfort yourself and most realize it is subdrop that is half the effort.

4. contact your Dominant.

Try to contact your Dominant and make clear that you feel low and down,  just inform him you feel that you are suffering form subdrop. An informed Dominant knows he just needs at least to send you loving and comforting words.  Most feel that the closer you are to a Dominant, the more intens the relationship the more you will feel subdrop after an intense scene. 

5. be responsible for yourself

Are you not able to contact your Dominant, or is he apparently not able to answer than help your self. Do what ever it takes to make yourself feel better. Look what you need to make your self feel comfortable again. A nurturing hot bath and care for your body, a well made healthy lunch or diner, a feel good movie anything you need to uplift your spirits. You can read the text he wrote to you. Call an informed friend for help and a talk. Figure out what works for you.

6. learn each time

Take notice each time when and how it occurs and notice what helps for you the best. It will make it easier to recognize the signs when it occurs again and it will be far easier to reach out to your Dominant, to others and to nurture yourself.

3 Feb 2014

collared reed

The reed looked
so vulnerable
Icy wind playing
collars heavy around 
their fragile frames
Strong, not broken 

I thought
it is good to be reed
You taught me
You teach me
every day
I love You

We can carry
far more weight
than we think
when we need to
I carry You

You are
each and
every day