12 Oct 2014

Serving

Whenever I am writing this blog or adding to the 'isthisBDSM/ blog I am fully aware that I serve some. In my daily life I serve many. They say it is something within a submissive. But is it? 





I serve with servitude. I serve simply because I want and need it. I enjoy to serve. In BDSM they often talk about how the submissive should serve a Dominant. By dressing pleasing, obeying, finding out what his wishes are and acting accordingly. But nevertheless I thought it at least in SL a rather shallow look at what serving should be. If only a submissive serves her Dominant, if her only focus is submitting to him by serving him how does that effect the community as a whole and how does it effect them.

It seemed to me a bit of a narcissistic approach to BDSM.

Let us look at narcissism.  I will take as an example the view on narcissism within parenting. Wikipedia gives the following definition if we think of parenthood:

A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism  or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be especially envious of, and threatened by, their child's growing independence. The result may be what has been termed a pattern of narcissistic attachment, with the child considered to exist solely for the parent's benefit.
Narcissistic people with low self esteem feel the need to control how others regard them, fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal inadequacies exposed. They are self absorbed, some to the point of grandiose; and being preoccupied with protecting their self image, they tend to be inflexible, and lack empathy
If we look only to serve within D/s and that is for both Dominant and submissive life will become quite shallow. A submissive serves her Dominant to her best of abilities. It is her gratification if she does so, being pleasing is very important within the dynamic of power exchange.
We have to be aware that Dominants cannot expect to be served by all. And submissive do not have to serve all submissively just because they are submissive. 

How might that be in a community?


But what if you are in a community with other submissives and Dominants. In that case You have to be aware of the others, even though a Dominant can demand full attention.
If we look only to serve within D/s and that is for both Dominant and submissive life will become quite shallow. A submissive serves her Dominant to her best of abilities. It is her gratification if she does so, being pleasing is very important within the dynamic of power exchange.
But what if you are in a community with other submissives and Dominants. In that case you have to be aware of the others, even though a Dominant can demand full attention. There is a lot written about serving and serving is also good conduct towards other, politeness and acting civil. The behavior of a Dominant in public shines through to the community and if He has a sub she will be affected by it too. If He is misbehaves and get's into a fight with another Dominant it will set the tone. Do the two of them serve the community? 

Serving the community

Within a D/s community however if Dominants lack in in showing any power exchange as simple as ordering to kneel or ask some service. It will become shallow and the submissives will fall back in casual behavior  Which is fine. But the dynamic of the power exchange changes. The need to serve become less and less visible. However if within a community it is good if the Dominants maintain the submissives on their toes. They need to feel that Domination to be at their best and it goes vice versa too for Dominants.
Within a community one serves all, either Dominant or submissive. Being rude has an influence on people, misbehaving as an effect on how others feel. I like the idea of maintaining a high standard of good behavior, in the end it will seve us all. 

Se here a post on the basics of serving in general

And Yes Do Always Correct me When i Am Wrong.!




4 comments:

Zano Irata said...

I assume, and one must assume that in a community Dominants also serve. By that i don't mean that they provide leadership or management as submissives are very often equally capable of that. They provide the service of their dominance. Perhaps they can be said to furnish the ornamentation in which submissives flourish?

ara said...

Thank You Sir Zano and I think that is beautifully said.

Beldom said...

I like this alot

ara said...

Thank You for the compliment Sir