26 Nov 2014


I'm a lady in the streets and I'm a slut between the sheets

The biggest turn on a Dominant or a submissive can give me is to respect my slutty side. To feel and appreciate that I share that part of me. To open up ones 'sluttyness'. To freely tell the other or show the other sexual daring behaviour and sharing it, is a gift that should be cherished and cared for. Disrespect is not showing any appreciation but using it to degrade the other. 

I am most certainly not slutty in my day to day life. I am composed, well dressed and carry myself with dignity. The best thing about BDSM is that I can open up on that part. That I can let go, I can freely indulge myself in being a slut, painslut and truly research all the sides I have within the capable hands of a Dominant.

For me it is one of the most vulnerable things to do. Opening up and go beyond all that is seen as bad and terrible in being a woman. To be composed and well behaved is internalized deep within me. It is my upbringing. Will I be a slut in the streets? No, never. I can be slutty. I can engage in BDSM, but well never openly bother or concern those who have no idea of the world of  BDSM.

I need the stability, safety, trust, the freedom and care to be a slut. I expect from a Dominant that he makes sure I am safe. That I know he 
honours  and respects what I do. He has never demanded it from me. He simply knows I will offer myself to him. I can even surprise him by doing things he thought I was not ready for. He gives me the safety that all is alright, always. He gives me the safety to guide me gently. If I serve him in public he makes sure, very sure that all circumstances are safe. He will tease me, order me, but he has never ever let me down in his care about me. He watches over me. 

What amazes me most within the BDSM world is that I truly appreciate it when you dare to show yourself within your arousal, within your subspace, within that "naked" being you are. But also those who will praise you and care for you and thank you for your daring and open behaviour and who will not make fun of it. Those are the ones who are respectful!

So, for all those bloggers, who share there bodies, there thoughts, juicy thoughts, naughty thoughts.
For all those bloggers in the BDSM world, who are vulnerable in how they open up to others. Read it and feel a deep respect for what they share.

Thank you all, I learn a lot from your thoughts, pondering and practical information!

23 Nov 2014

Venus: Love, beauty, enticement, seduction, fertility and persuasive female charm

Master gave me a copy of this beautiful painting of Pieter Paul Rubens. It intrigues me and it makes me think about my self-image too.

Venus is the Goddess who stands for: Love, beauty, enticement, seduction, fertility and persuasive female charm. She stands for all I have neglected for a long.. long.. time. I never really noticed, understood the effect I had on others, or even that they might desire me. And when it was very clear I would shy away of it all, just no clue on how to deal with it.

But first when you google Venus she has all shapes and forms.. so any body shape.. any woman will find her own Venus that matches her shape. That is comforting. Are You a botticelli one or a Rubens Or a Venus the Milo all is fine. She stands for all women whatever shape, race or form. The best thing about Venus is that she is so often depicted naked. I like being naked.

There is a difference in being naked and being seductive or to see how others perceive me, for example. To me naked is not per se seductive. I think seduction is far more inviting in clothes. But BDSM and seduction and sexuality is a whole other ball game.

Perhaps the seductive side is going past all shame. Perhaps Venus is shameless. Shameless… what is being shameless…?

Shameless is having no reservation. You do not have to be shameless to all and everyone every hour of the day. But do feel shameless to those who deserve it. Being shameless doesn't come overnight, it needs time and trust. It needs having the self confidence to do so. It actually is looking through the eyes of the other who demands You to be shameless and seeing the beauty the other sees.

I think being vulnerable in being shameless and gaining strength as you do, is what beauty and love is. To me Venus is all that. Learning to see your own special beauty through the eyes of those that deserve it. So what can we learn from this picture?

Rubens married Helene Fourment when she was 16 and he was 53; an old man compared to her. The story is told that Rubens would only depict himself with a hat because he was already bald. She was young and considered very, very beautiful in her time. A wonderful curvy woman, who gave birth to 5 children in 10 years and still considered a beauty. Rubens used her as a model often, he must have been very proud of her and enjoyed her naked body. It is a kind of freedom that didn't happen very often with wives in art. She was his muse. 
But sometimes I think it must have been something for him too, to undress in front of her… She must have seen his beauty too. 

After 10 years he died, she was pregnant with his fifth child who was born after 8 month. No surprise she remarried successfully again with a Count.

It's her, isn't she beautiful as Venus…

5 Nov 2014


I am a great fan of photography and in the 1980's when I wasn't really fully aware yet of what it was that I desired so deeply I saw a series of photo's called 'chess' by the Dutch photographer Erwin Olaf. He is also influenced by one of the other great photographers Robert Mapplethorpe.

The pictures of chess are a mesmerizing world that borders all that is within BDSM as a 'tableau vivant' of beauty. That beauty is not within the thought of being handsome or pretty, it is just the adoration of any person in my personal opinion: the courage of the models and the eye of the photographer. In the end they all are handsome and pretty.

I was thinking how conscious I can be of my own body at times and I am starting to wonder if I should. I have a good healthy body. And even though I am getting older I preserve well and saying exactly that, is judging… preserved well is making a value. Standing naked in front of a mirror is like weighing myself in my own judgement and I bet my judgement is much harder than anyone else's. My tendency is looking at what is 'wrong'. What BDSM has made me aware of most is that I do no longer judge bodies of others. I want to get to know people and when you do there is so much in beauty in it.

So my lesson… I should appreciate my body and who I am far more and when people tell my I am valuable or special or whatever, it comes from their heart. I really need to allow myself to let it sink within me and cherish those who appreciate me for who I am… the naked me.. mind, body and soul…. and what it represents for them. A person is a package, isn't it time I value myself as I value others?

For now do enjoy 'Chess' it is not about winning but the fun of playing