15 Apr 2015

Making Mistakes is an Option










Making a mistakes is inevitable, but is it bad?



After making a mistake I can really pound on myself, as ever I am my own worst critic! I am working to change that deeply rooted attitude into a small carrot size that is easily eatable instead of my everlasting chewing. So why do I call it a deep rooted attitude. Simply because it is a shame-based attitude and I think that my mistakes, sometimes they aren't my mistakes at all, just emphasize the bad me.

So that is why I now see making mistakes is an option. Why would I call it an option? It would seem we would do it on purpose. I do not think so. Why would we repeatedly make the same mistake? Because every mistake is an opportunity to learn but to learn we have to look back and see the what and how of the mistake. We have to dare -instead of being critical of ourselves or others-  to accept we made a mistake and realize that looking at what occurred can change us for the better.

A mistake is not intentional sometimes a misunderstanding, wrong judgment or to identify someone or something incorrectly. It is the weight we give it, but it is also realizing that we judge ourselves worse than others mostly do. So where does that judgement come from. Is that harsh judging inner-voice Yours?

Actually it is a repeating of what others have told you and you have internalized it. You have internalized every negative word as your own. It could be Your mother, father, your siblings, classmates perhaps. I have now realized I do not have to take those (self) criticisms for granted. I can change them.  It is by simply giving your self some self-compassion.

So go out there, make mistakes, be yourself, listen to your own inner voice and be compassionate!


Hereby some advises of margaret wehrenberg, click her name for the whole article.

  • Identify that it is happening (and don’t yell at yourself for doing it!!)
  • Ask yourself, “Is this true?” Remember that not everything you think is true. It might be a false belief that you are wrong, or stupid or beyond help. You may suspect it is not true even though, like my client, it is a feeling you have at the moment.
  • Ask,” How does it affect me to believe this?” Typically, a negative accusatory statement does not motivate us to do better, try harder, or change for the best. It tends to deflate our mood and make us feel bad.
  • To stop the criticism, try changing it a little.
  • If you were to start the statement with ‘I’ how would it change?
  • If you modulated the criticism to be less harsh, how would that feel to you? (For example, changing “You are so stupid,” to “You forgot that.”
  • Then every time you do notice you are doing it, make that change immediately. It will help you get out of the habit of self-criticism.
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