17 Nov 2015


So I started to wonder what kind of Dominant fits me. What do I expect from a Dominant and it might sound silly but I never really gave it a good thought. So what do I seek in a Dominant?

So I do have some experience and I found out that I dislike a Dominant with a short temper. I prefer patience. I believe patience is one of the best traits a Dominant can have.

Another thing I prefer in a Dominant is that I can share my feelings, thoughts, vulnerabilities, but most important that he can do that too. Being a Dominant doesn't mean that he has to be strong all the time. It would worry me greatly.

Although I want to be able to snuggle up after play knowing that he understands I need that time after being 'used' to balance myself again. I need to feel that care and love. I really need a Dominant who cuddles freely, who makes sure I am warm if I sink into subspace, who looks after.

I need a Dominant who can be sadistic, caring and who can put me in my place. Someone that can really challenge me, teasing me with mind play and at the same time that I know in the far corner of my brain that he will make sure I am safe.

In a way, although I think I am not a 'little' I love to have a Dominant who can find the good traits of a 'daddy' within him: Unconditional love and support, Primary protector, Emotional Sanctuary, Mentor and Teacher, Tantric Sexuality, Discipline and Reliability.

With all of that I prefer equality within the dynamic. I do not expect someone to be strong all the time. 

It is not only about D/s, kink, but also about getting to know each other and sharing on just other levels than kink.

And last but certainly not least; I want a Gentleman, who opens the doors and more. But of course a Gentleman with a Dark side.

So what do you expect of a Dominant?


Lea said...

I think most of these would apply as qualities of any great dominant!

ara said...

that broadens my horizon ;-)